Easing Her Fears of Moving
The "For Sale" sign went up, and the packing and showings have already rocked our world. It was only a matter of time before she would "crack" and crumble to pieces in my arms. My oldest cried a river onto my shoulder this past weekend and I tried to reassure her that everything was going to be okay.
She is afraid of moving, and leaving the comfort and safety of this home. This is her first home and the place where she's lived since she was 6 months old. It's the place where all of her toddler playdates and each milestone has been. Now, at 8 years old, she has finally discovered her strengths, confidence and her gifts. She has made her childhood friends and has found her place in this world. And here I am about to ruin it all.
I can't help but wonder if she will recover from this? She is our timid and anxious child. She always has been. So asking her to trust me and to be brave right now feels like I am asking her to walk through fire. To her young mind this is going to be the scariest thing she has ever done in her life and I am feeling the gravity of that. I want to honor her fears and feelings. I keep reminding myself that children are resilient, and we can handle this challenge. I just pray that she finds her confidence again and I see that glimmer in her eyes like I do now.
I remember being her age or a little older, and wishing my parents would move to a bigger city or somewhere that had a better musical theater program - or just be adventurous and take us kids out West! So now, here I am (the parent) and I can see how hard it is to uproot your children. Easier said than done. Even if it is for the best and if it means you will be following your dreams.
We are moving to find a little more space and (hopefully) a studio/office area where I can do client consultations from my home. I am excited and ready for this next chapter. This is the right time and I feel it with every inch of my being. My babies aren't babies anymore and we can finally manage a move. We don't have a place to go just yet and this house still needs to sell, so in the weeks ahead I have some important work to do in teaching a certain little girl about embracing her fears.
And I'll tell her that when we face our fears, we allow ourselves to experience some of the greatest joys or adventures in life. And I just know that she is going to do well at her new elementary school. She will make new friends who appreciate her generous heart. She will find her place among the others (like her) who are dangling from the monkey bars. She will gain new insights and learn more about her strengths. She will develop new life skills by stepping outside of her comfort zone. And most importantly (for this short window of time), she will learn that as long as we are together… she will always be safe and she will be in the comfort of our "home".
Have you recently made a move with your school-aged child(ren)? Do you have any tips for making the transition easier? I'd like to ease the stress that we all may feel by embracing this change (or challenge) as our great, big, family adventure! Wishful thinking maybe? Who cares. I'm going to need it... and wine. Lots and lots of wine. ;-)