I Don't Like Being a Housewife

This week wasn't too unlike all the others except a few of my dreams were crushed. Dreaming, after all, keeps my life from feeling so very ordinary. I'll get over it and create something far better to place my hopes and bets on, but for now I am back to reality and my housewife duties. Ugh. I was never one of those girls who dreamed about becoming a wife or a mother. I was the kind who always dreamed about her career ambitions, travel and life adventures. I wasn't one of those girls who went to college to find her husband or to get her degree so she would look good on paper (but never have to use said degree). Nope, that wasn't me. You know you can name a few of those women and I always pitied them as (to me) it seemed they didn't know their own worth or value in this world. I have always been a little different. I didn't take my education or my experiences lightly as each was earned not given.

So there I was minding my own business, and working my tail off in the news and photo industry in NYC, and then BAM! Life happened. I married my husband and I had kids a few years later. Say what? How did that even happen? Don't get me wrong, I love them all to pieces and I am grateful for each one of them (even if they do drive me crazy). And yet somehow, I could never shake this feeling that... [Tweet "the world needs more from me"] and it doesn't involve being the best homemaker, or an ordinary or desperate housewife. Someone's gonna hate me for saying that. But it's true. Am I completely alone in feeling this way?

I have a hard time believing that women can be 100% content cleaning their homes, planning their gourmet meals, wiping their kids' butts and being taxi drivers all day long. It just isn't me or my kind of satisfaction. It bores me. I tried it, and after a year or two of being a stay-at-home mom... I knew I was done. I didn't entirely enjoy living in my yoga pants, having irrational beings run our home, feeling like my brain cells died, and dealing with the "perfectly" happy women around me who spent a good portion of their days with their personal trainers or getting their Botox or self-medicating or planning Pinterest inspired meals or parties. I just couldn't do it any longer so I quickly went back to work. I needed to be surrounded by inspirational, innovative and ambitious women like me.

It's been 8 years of motherhood and going on 11 years of marriage, and I still get little or no fulfillment from picking up the stinky socks, feeding tiny people who don't appreciate my efforts, and then having to repeat my duties day in and day out. The difference is that now I don't feel guilty about it and I have something of my own (a career) to focus on.

And this week, it really hit me. The reason I don't like being a housewife is not just because it makes me feel ordinary or desperate. It is because it doesn't allow me to be SPONTANEOUS. When I am stuck at home and doing my housewife duties (rather than Sarah duties) I start to loose a little bit of myself in all of the planned and monotonous tasks. It means I need a serious break (or vacation). I need to escape the boredom and find my mojo again.

Thank goodness spring has sprung and I can get back to my photography which is where I find my mojo, motivation and much needed creativity. It allows me to be Sarah... and not MoMMMYYYYYYYY or the housewife in an endless cycle of meals, dishes and laundry.

So, I'm curious. How do you break free of the mundane housewife duties in your home? If I could outsource them all -- I would! What are some of the tips or tools that allow you to be more spontaneous in your everyday life with a family? I want us all to enjoy more FREE-SPIRITED days and NOT feel like we are always stuck on an endless hamster wheel called life. I can't wait to hear your thoughts and ideas!

Sarah Lehberger

Easton, CT

Sarah Lehberger is a photographer based on the shoreline of Connecticut, just 90 mins from New York City, in the small town of Easton. She specializes in photography that celebrates working Moms and their families. She is also a Co-Founder of She Will Thrive, providing business coaching, retreats and workshops to women entrepreneurs, creatives and small business owners.

Sarah's career started in the news and entertainment industry. A storyteller at heart, she began photographing weddings in 2003 while also working full time at Getty Images, NY in their editorial department. Sarah enjoyed the fast-paced and glamorous events she would collaborate on, yet deep down she was craving more purpose driven work. In 2005 she decided to leave the corporate world to launch her full time wedding business, which received numerous awards and features throughout the industry.

In 2013 Sarah rebranded her business so she could continue her mission to celebrate women, with a new focus on mothers. She feels strongly about empowering women and creatives to succeed, and has been a speaker at conferences such as ShootDotEdit's Unlimited Happiness Tour, Inspire Photo Retreats, as well as a past coach and mentor for Team X Academy.